The Analects of Confucius . When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. #39 – 30. Kong Qiu, or Master Kong as he was known, did not live to see his days of glory. – Confucius. If you liked these funny Confucius Say jokes and sayings, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, including these: © 2020 LaffGaff.com. As his teachings spread far and wide, his philosophies gained ground. ", "When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves. Confucius say: Virgin woman who pricks at her cherry pit, devirginize herself. At that time, China was undergoing a state of ideological turmoil; all around there was injustice, war, and evil. a Chinese philosopher credited with many wise sayings. Confucius say: Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy! Confucius is a wise Chinese philosopher, teacher, and political leader during 500-400 BC. ", "What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others. ", "Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts? - More quotations on: [ The Future] The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. 13. ", "Men's natures are alike, it is their habits that carry them far apart. During these years he never lost confidence in his cailling as political mentor of the Empire.. At age 57, when he returned to his native state finally, he lamented in a poem that, “men are without insight, quickly the years pass.” The best Confucius quotes on knowledge and education. Because of the wide range of texts and traditions identified with him,choices about which version of Confucius is authoritative have changedover time, reflecting particular political and social priorities. The Analects of Confucius is an anthology of brief passages that present the words of Confucius and his disciples, describe Confucius as a man, and recount some of the events of his life. Confucius say: Man who make furniture with woman, eventualy get in drawers. Fame, as they say, is fickle. The ways of governing can be seen in the traditions of forefathers. Confucius say. Life of Confucius. ", "He who will not economize will have to agonize. In Imperial China,Confucius was identified with interpretations of the classics andmoral guidelines for administrators, and therefore also with trainingthe scholar-officials that populated the bur… Confucius say…. When dentist say ‘ open wide’ does he mean mouth or wallet? Confucius’ teachings encourage everybody to pursue self-cultivation as a means to moral perfection. History Time Fall Never. Confucian proverbs have the power to transform lives, but they are not for casual reading. It may take years to reap it and, when you do, you may not have the time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. Confucianism discusses elements of the afterlife and views concerning Heaven, but it is relatively unconcerned with some spiritual matters often considered essential to religious thought, such as the na… This was the case for Confucius, an ancient Chinese philosopher whose ideas still resonate today. He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger. Following his death, a handful of his dedicated followers passed on Confucius' teachings to future generations in the book, The Analects of Confucius. Confucius was a politician and Chinese philosopher and of the Spring and Autumn period. Many nails needed to make crib, only one screw needed to fill it. The wise waste neither men nor words. ", "He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words good. All rights reserved. “Confucius says” jokes are a great way to make myself laugh when I feel down. Confucius say: Man who catch large water rodent, get wet beaver. To discuss with a man not worthy of conversation is to waste words. ", "Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. ", "By nature, men are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be wide apart. Untouched and Pristine Confucius Sayings I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself. ", "Study the past if you would define the future. Confucius Says is a place to submit famous quotes and popular sayings about wisdom, health, knowledge, luck, love and more! But that was about 2,500 years ago. And as we love funny stuff like that, we’ve gathered together all the finest examples here. ", "Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance. ", "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart. “The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.” – Confucius. Introduction . Man who walk in front of car gets tired, man who walk behind car get exhausted.eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'laffgaff_com-box-4','ezslot_6',173,'0','0'])); Man who not poop for many days must deal with backlog. Here is one of Confucius's sayings: "It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop." When you read them once, you feel the power of his words; read twice, and you will appreciate his deep thought; read them over and over again, and you will be enlightened. But if you probe further, you will see more layers. It good to meet girl in park, but better to park meat in girl. Confucius was a Chinese philosopher credited with many wise sayings. His views antagonized the powerful nobles, who wanted the Duke to be a puppet in their hands. 100 Famous Confucius Quotes. Prostitute who like bondage, strapped for cash. ", "Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes. Man with hole in both pockets not feel too cocky. Theportrait of Confucius as philosopher is, in part, the product of aseries of modern cross-cultural interactions. ", "Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles. Famous Quotes and Sayings about Hope. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. 1. ", "I hear and I forget. Proponents argue, however, that despite the secular nature of Confucianism's teachings, it is based on a worldview that is religious. To know what you know and what you do not know, that is true knowledge. Confucius was born around 551 BC in Zhou times. Man who cut self while shaving lose face. ", "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. ", "Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses. Confucius. 12. ", "If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. Confucius say. 10. Confucius. Confucius say takes many nails to build crib, but only one screw to fill it. Confucius say… penis is the only thing that a woman hopes she will find hard to handle. ", "The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. Confucianism along with Taoism and Buddhism became the three religious pillars of China. Confucius's sayings brought together by his pupils shortly after his death in 497 BC. ", "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Man who fishes in other man’s well, often catch crab. ", "To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle. Government is seen as a tool to help bring out the best of its people. 9. ", "A superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions. Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent. Upholding the ideals of wisdom, self-knowledge, courage and love of one's fellow man, he argued that Let these Confucian quotes guide you in life. Its influence has also extended to other countries, particularly Korea, Japan, and Vietnam. Confucius’ sayings are typically made up of short sentences which are difficult to interpret, but, with the right understanding, these teachings will start your journey to inner peace. All good things are difficult to achieve, and bad things are very easy to get. Confucius say… Man who not poop for many days must take care of back log. ", "The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence. Man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face. So, I’ve selected some of the best funny Confucius jokes to make you crack up. So enjoy this collection of funny Confucius Say jokes and sayings. His philosophy on how to be a Junzi or the perfect gentleman is based on the simple ideology of love and tolerance. Confucius was exiled from the State of Lu for more than two decades, so he lived in the countryside, spreading his teachings. Say them slowly, quizzically, and with intense glaring passion. Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone. He devoted his time to gain new insights and learned from renowned scholars of his time. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of. Man who have clear conscience usually have bad memory, too. Confucius' philosophies remained in the archives of ancient Chinese history. Man who walk through airport turnstyle sideways going to Bangkok. ", "He who exercises government by means of his virtue may be compared to the north polar star, which keeps its place and all the stars turn towards it. Woman who fly upside down, have crack up. Together they express a philosophy, or a moral code, by which Confucius, one of the most humane thinkers of all time, believed everyone should live. Confucius Communication ; Writing cannot express all words, words cannot encompass all ideas. In a few words, Confucius teaches us about patience, perseverance, discipline, and hard work. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved. ", "Faced with what is right, to leave it undone shows a lack of, "To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness. Confucius's philosophies, which are similar to humanist thought, have significantly influenced spiritual and social thought. 4. There is a growing interest in Confucianism in China and other parts of the world. ", "Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation, there is sure to be failure. ", "When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals; adjust the action steps. ". Confucius gave great importance to education. It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. Although Confucianism is often followed in a religious manner by the Chinese, many argue that its values are secular and that it is, therefore, less a religion than a secular morality. ", "Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men. ", "It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. ", "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. 41. “The Chinese Classics: The life and works of Mencius”, p.291 ", "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to, "Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star. The opinion of Confucius, also known as Confucianism, emphasized individual and governmental morality, the correctness of social relationships, equity, and sincerity. Confucius' ideals stand true even today. Woman who spend much time on bedspring may get offspring. I do and I understand. Man who live in glass house should get changed in basement.
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